My Sadist Philosopher...

Call it misery or the havoc of love!
Or was it even love the way the world defines?

My sorrow was, somewhere, a key to his content.
And yet, he was around like no one else.
An ego of sorts, enveloped us till no end,
And yet in each other, our completeness dwells.

For longer than forever, a lot remained unsaid.
Once in a while came the signs of calm.
This tranquility with me was not the peace he made.
But a war of silence that caught me unalarmed.

It was more than often that we fell apart.
Spilling poison around, in the due course.
But failing to sustain the distances for long,
Reunited each time with a stronger force.

Never was it stated, but somehow I knew -
His pain was his comfort while mine, his beam.
Never was it stated, but somehow he knew -
Inspite of it all, he was my impossible dream...

I thought in many ways that I was not afraid.
For, I am not where he belonged.
Yet it hurts beyond cure to just let go
With a heart disillusioned and all hopes forlorn.

Out he walked with a favor to ask & a cold smile of no return.
Despite the tearing pain, I waited as I stood
Steady as a statue and violently stern -
I absorbed the venom of his rancid offer
Though here I am -
Still feeling high on my sadist philosopher...

NOT ANYMORE...

A friendly restlessness my heart can sense,
And choke me with life’s hideous essence.

I have known this grief for a long time now,
But not long enough to welcome it.
I have felt solitude so close for a while
And gradually, with it, have been comforted.

The pain has surfaced with a blow so wild –
Half loved, half cared, I walk alone.
To a place where vacuum is defined by space
And on the end of which, care & sadness galore.

Completely incomplete, I reached the end,
Where the dark enveloped me to scare me to the core,
Attempting to break me down and celebrate my tears.
But there was so much sorrow, that I couldn’t cry anymore…

FOR YOU...

Weird world, strange things…
Except for the strange is pleasant now.
A void soul now feels complete;
Blessed with the bliss of your silent vow.

I hear the music my heart plays;
Turns out it’s your knock of togetherness.
I feel secure and comforted;
To find it’s your warm, gentle caress.

No matter how left alone I am
Your thoughts become my company.
When I walk up to the mirror, and touch the glass;
I find you become the extended me…

It’s a beauty to witness how lives transform…
Where now, you and I have become the same.
Where your dreams gradually have become my truth…
And my interests have become your aim…

We walk as companions on the road of life.
Hand in hand for times eternal…
And if your strength would ever weaken;
I’ll give you mine to fight back survival.

Will hold you now to never let go; never let go of this completeness.

With all my courage, I’ll withstand the pain,
If an end were to part us ever;
And wash all limits with the tears of love—
Coz for you, a thousand times over…..